The irony is supplemented by some paranoia. In a society like the South African with a high crime rate you have to become a little paranoid, according to Brian. For instance, after a night out with his friends, he would not allow a female friend of his to leave alone, not even to walk only 100 meters to her car. 'Contrary to a man she could not only be beaten up but even worse scenarios are likely,' he explains. So to see girls in Enschede leaving alone on their bicycles after going out at night is awkward to him. 'It still turns my stomach every time,' the long-haired student tells.
Besides this occasional intestine dislocation, Brian feels definitely more relaxed living in Holland, with its negligible chance of violent aggression. He did have to get used though to what he calls the 'more fenced-off society' in the Netherlands. 'Dutch will hardly say 'Hello' when meeting people on the street or in the train,' he noticed. 'People probably create some space of their own by ignoring others in this densely populated country. For some foreigners it might appear rude, I am sure. But I know that behind the fences, there is no difference, people are nice'
Brian thinks that greeting a lot of people can be successful in Holland, though. They will lower their fences and there is a good atmosphere. Yet, he doesn't greet as much as back home. 'I discovered that it really is a kind of tiring to say hi to so many,' he laughs.
When asked about the situation of HIV-infected people in Southern Africa, he admits to being worried about it. On average, about 20 percent of the population is infected with HIV, among students it is even 30 percent. 'It's scary,' feels Brian. 'The health care system can never deal with this huge amount of people when the virus gets active. In 10 to 15 years, 30% of the South African society will be dead. Including so many young people with potential who would otherwise support the society and economy.'
One of those with potential is Brian's sister, who studies medicine, and is doing her internship now. In that function she runs a great risk to get infected, working with blood. How do they both manage to live with that threat?
'Just as with the violence, it is a change of mindset,' explains Brian. He knows four people in his close environment who were killed. But his point is that one cannot go through life being constantly afraid. 'You just keep on thinking 'It's not going to happen to me," he recollects, before irony takes over again. 'Then you have a fairly good life. Until it does happen to you.'
